PLANET SCUM

PLANETARY ADVISORY BOARD

17 Months Or Bust. Power To The People.

UPDATES

Lawson “Big Law” Largelaw

A law firm of Giant Lawyers. Literal Physical Giants. Set and environment makes the performer seem like a giant living in a world with regular human sized furniture.

Included Photograph: The painted desk for the World’s Most Giant Lawyer. Tiny coffee cup and pencil holder next to a regular sized bottle of water for reference

Cookie Jarvis the Wizard,

creator of Cookie Crisp

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9kgXrcSu1E

https://sfw.furaffinity.net/view/13472190

am i doing this right?

THIS IS ALL THE STUFF YOUR FELLOW PERFORMERS ARE CURRENTLY WORKING ON (USE FOR INSPIRATION!)

Slutty Bane

...i'm Bane, but like... slutty.

Gary O. Gary

Here is a look at Gary's office!

Barbara Sidebush, DDS, Esq., MFA in Sculpting

Barbara is a video store employee recently woken from a coma... everything else is a smokescreen to disguise that fact.

Grown Up Baby Sinclair From Dinosaurs
Case Legalman
Thank Goodness It's Guy Fieri
Stone Cold Steve Austin's Leather Vest Dealer
Secretary of the Scum Dollar Treasury
Cellino & Barnes
A Bowling Pin From The Bad Bowling Alley Animations
Nine Big Slugs In A Trench Coat
ESPN's Monday Night Football
Cornwallis G. Vumpoo the III
Spünter
Starship Disco Stu
Walmart Greeter
Bean Gene, Coffee-loving Wrestling Interviewer
Cody Coaster - Specializes in Coaster Related Lawsuits, Most notably 'Coastergate' 2020
ACAB for cutie
The Horse From The Old Spice Commercials
Scam Likely
Snap, Crackle, But Not Pop
Johnny Marzetti
Harry Houdini's Baby Brother Gary
Oooooohhhhh baby, the baby
Marmaduke The Great Dane
Snickerdoodle Jackson
Dink Winkle
Bobson Dugnutt, Former MLB Pro baby
Mr. Worldwide Web
Trailer Park Law Shark
Rum-Tum-Tugboat
Mortball

APPLICANT INBOX

THIS IS A LIST OF SOME OF THE CURRENT SUBMISSIONS. YOU CAN ALSO JUST PICK WHATEVER YOU WANT.

Lawson “Big Law” Largelaw

Lawson “Big Law” Largelaw of Largelaw, Largelaw & Large Associates was recommended via the Scum Form.

You would be very wise to hire Largelaw for your team. I can guarantee you won’t find bigger law than you will at Largelaw. Gigantic things going on over at LL&LC so I hope you’re excellent at making incredibly good decisions. Thank you for your consideration.

INTERVIEWEE INBOX

Just A 13 Year Old

This candidate happens to be thirteen years old.

Slutty Bane

"Let us not stand on ceremony here. I am Planet Scum's reckoning. I come here not as a conquistador but as a liberator, to return control of this planet to you, the people. Stick with me and you'll never go hungry again!"

Gary O. Gary, a Real "Lawyer"

Gary O. Gary is a Real "Lawyer." He has been certified by a "Bar Association" to practice "Cases." His "Office" is three flights below the basement of the Dinty Moore Beef Stew factory, through the men's bathroom, and behind the secret door That Is Not There. His role in life is to take any case, er, sorry "Case." Gary O. Gary is single. He has had five divorces. Gary O. Gary is a sad man. Being a "Lawyer" was not his first choice. Gary O. Gary wanted to be a professional crab fisherman, but Margery would not allow it. Gary O. Gary, in middle school, got an award for being able to fit his whole hand in his mouth. Also, Gary O. Gary has a pet banana slug named Daave who he loves very much, that is an imperative fact. Most days, if you see Gary O. Gary, just say his name three times, and he will get to you, eventually. Thank you.

Cookie Jarvis the Wizard, creator of Cookie Crisp

After inventing Cookie Crisp using his notorious Cookie Magic, Jarvis flew off into the universe to discover and explore. Now he has arrived on Planet Scum to perform some Legal Stuff using only Cookie magic.

Gorb the Devourer

Gorb the Devourer has arrived, Gorb will help with box, Gorb asks for sustenance in repayment. Gorb needs to devour.

Beef Mcgoo of "Beef Mcgoo and Her Bun Boys Two" fame

Beef Mcgoo, former 80s child entertainer, would like to be a lawyer for you. Her bun boys have grew, she has nothing to do, and she's finally using her degree from Stanford U, Law division.

Barbara Sidebush, DDS, Esq., MFA in Sculpting

Based on everything provided in their resume, Barbara seems like a great fit!

Undecided

A person exists for this slot. This person has as of yet remained quiet.

Open Slot

If someone appears, this slot is available.